When I was a recent graduate, I just fell apart. My brain was so consumed by anxious thoughts about ‘what am I going to do now?’, that I did nothing. I didn’t know how I was supposed to get on the career ladder, let alone what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.
Eventually, I applied for some graduate jobs and various grad schemes, but I never found any luck. I guess it doesn’t help that I’m not a very competitive person. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very self-motivated and try my best, but I just don’t like the external pressure of competing with another person.
For over a year I was lost. Thankfully, I did seek work experience in several potential careers of interest, and I finally discovered my current role within a school. This has allowed me gain a clearer picture of my aspiration, thus enabling me to create a clear plan of how I am going to obtain it. Nevertheless, I don’t think anybody goes through life without feeling doubt or anxiety around their decisions.
Despite me having lots of experience in a school, doing really well in my Masters studies, and having secured a place at a great institution for a qualifying teacher course, I still doubt myself sometimes. I don’t think it’s a sign that I’m not passionate or determined; it’s just a natural reaction to change and progression. If somebody gets a promotion, yes they’re excited, but they’re probably also really nervous about taking on different responsibilities.
I think the doubts are just a reminders of how much you want to succeed and not regret your decisions. It’s a sign that you care about your future and that you want the best for yourself. In fact, it’s a demonstration of your motivation and determination, rather than a hindrance to them. So, at the moment, I am embracing the occasional doubts in my ability and my decision-making by ignoring them.
I’m not saying that this is always the right approach, I mean you do have to listen to your gut in most situations. But, when the doubts are insignificant and are predominantly a result of your lacking self-confidence, then they are just anxiety demons trying to pull you down.