The Shame of Borrowing

I am pretty sure that most people have been in a situation where you have had to borrow money.

I am currently in that predicament. I have had to borrow money off my brother because I am not getting any income until September. Oh… it is shameful.

I was stressing, not knowing what I was going to do. I couldn’t afford my outgoings. I was completely stuck. I had exhausted all my options just to avoid borrowing. Unfortunately, it was the only thing left that could resolve my problems.

I dreaded asking. I slowly picked up the phone and keyed in the words ‘can I borrow…’

I hated it. Staring at the phone after sending the message. It is humiliating and soul destroying. I (like many others) struggle to ask for help. I try to be as independent as possible. I always want to support myself. Yes, I accept the occasional coffee being bough by my mum or a meal bought by my partner. But, having to ask to borrow money just seems so much more of a big deal.

It was horrible. But, I was/ am in a situation where it is my only option, so I was forced to ask. I can’t wait to get my income in September to pay him back and pretend like it never happened.

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. It’s such a horrible feeling isn’t it, borrowing money? I always feel like I have no right. But sometimes we need to. So well done for doing it. It’s really brave.

    Like

    1. Thanks, that means a lot. You’re right, you feel like a burden. But, it’s better than getting into lots of credit debts just to keep face.

      Liked by 1 person

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