I used to be run off my feet all the time. All I wanted was to have a break, have time to catch up on some TV shows or read a book.
Now, all I have is free time. I hate it. Most of my day is spent trying to think of things to do and failing. I spend a lot of time in bed just bored and unable to sleep. I have caught up on TV and now struggle to find anything to watch. I just want any reason to leave the house because I feel so secluded and almost trapped.
It has only been about 4 months of this and I cannot wait until my studies start in September! I cannot comprehend how others do this for longer periods of time. I am a very lazy person naturally, yet I struggle with living without a purpose. I feel like I am just existing at the moment, not living. All this is merely wasted time in my life. I am not moving forward with my career, family, or finances.
Although, as I said in my last post, I am working on my mental health and character flaws, I still find it difficult to deal with having nothing to do. I feel like I am progressing mentally because it has given me a lot of time to think, meditate, and relax.
I have always been a stressy person, especially during busy times. However, with all this free time, I have managed to calm myself a lot more. I’m hoping that I can maintain that when I do start my studies again.
I am glad I’ve had this time to work on myself as an individual. Some travel the world, others go on holiday, but I have spent a few months on my own at home. It seems to have helped me a lot. I enjoy my own company a lot more than before, I used to see being alone as a negative thing. Now, I quite enjoy it, I feel free. I go to coffee shops on my own and read a book. I go shopping on my own frequently.
I definitely think this time off has made me more independent, more confident, and a calmer individual. I am really proud of this. Although I still think I could of been more productive, I don’t see it as wholly wasted time. I have been able to improve myself and become more relaxed within myself.
But, I really cannot wait to start doing things again! I’ve had the right amount of time to work on myself. I want to get back to working on my career and building up friendships again.
I’m even planning on joining the gym in September so that I can start this health kick that I’ve prepared for! I will be keeping you posted about it regularly once I start. I want to have a healthier lifestyle so that I can feel more energetic. I feel tired way too often and I want to be able to keep up with all things I have planned!