To Break Up or Not To Break Up?

If you have read any of my previous posts, you will know that me and my partner are in a long-term but now long-distance relationship. We have been going long distance for over a year now. Because of this, I am scared that I have started to lose feelings for him.

We have had our troubles in the past, like many couple have. But, we came out the other side and conquered them. After that our relationship was a lot more positive. We could communicate about our issues instead of hiding them. We made massive strides.

However, after being long distance for over a year now, I am no longer as enthusiastic about our relationship. I used to want to talk to him frequently and I would excited when it was coming up to a weekend together. Now, I’m not as concerned about speaking to him on such a regular basis and I’m not as excited as I was before to see him.

It could just be me getting used to my situation. Instead of being troubled by the long distance, I am finally adapting to it. Or, I could be losing my admiration for him, which is not a good sign for this relationship.

The last time I was at his (last weekend), It just felt like I wasn’t excitable. It was like any other Friday, Saturday night. I wasn’t particularly… I didn’t get butterflies like I normally would. Also, I was more aware of the negative habits he has, such as when he gets grumpy from not having a cigarette. I was honest about it and he apologised. The apology was very sweet; he got me a cute toy of a white tiger. I was really taken by that and some of my excitement came back.

My issue is that I do not know if this just a faze created by the long distance situation, or something of a more permanent nature. I know we have recently been in debates regarding the future of our relationship and his unwillingness to compromise over living areas. Maybe this has had an effect on my attitude towards him. He has also not connected with my puppy particularly well. My partner gets snappy quite easily at him, so I have not been impressed with his reaction to my puppy’s antics. Despite this, he has started to make more of an effort recently to connect with my puppy. But, I guess I am still wary of it all.

He has also been waiting hours (sometimes 8 hours) to reply to my messages. If he is waiting this long, maybe he has the same concerns as I. However, this behaviour is not out of the ordinary for him. He has always been terrible at replying to texts. Even so, it has become more frequent behaviour recently, so this makes me wonder.

My partner is going away for a week, so I have decided not to text him frequently and see how I feel. It may prove to me that I do have a desire to talk to him and I haven’t lost any of my feelings for him. Or, it could prove to me that I am content without him, thus I am no longer engaged with the relationship.

**UPDATE** After a lot of thought, I have found the prime reason for my concerns. I could not see a future with him. I felt like we wanted different things and that there was no getting past that. He felt nervous because he could feel me trying to put distance between us. After breaking up and having a good old cry about things, we instead came to a conclusion. I discuss this in Moving To Be With Somebody . The plan is for me to move to his next September. This gives me much more hope and has boosted me a lot more.

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. I think that when we have to ask ourselves whether we love someone or not, we have stopped loving them. It’s sad, but true.

    Like

    1. I agree that normally it is that way. But, because I have Depression and Anxiety I can question things in my life very easily, which leads to overthinking. :/

      Like

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