The Shame of Borrowing

I am pretty sure that most people have been in a situation where you have had to borrow money. I am currently in that predicament. I have had to borrow money off my brother because I am not getting any income until September. Oh… it is shameful. I was stressing, not knowing what I was…

Missing the Busy Lifestyle

I used to be run off my feet all the time. All I wanted was to have a break, have time to catch up on some TV shows or read a book. Now, all I have is free time. I hate it. Most of my day is spent trying to think of things to do…

Being Somebody I Am Proud Of

I have struggled for quite a few years with feelings of shame and regret. I have made a lot of mistakes over the years. The guilt I have felt over those mistakes has held me back so much. I became afraid of enjoying myself, of saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing, or feeling…

Is There Such Thing as Normal?

Sometimes I sit here and think ‘I just want to be normal’. I want the normal life with a normal relationship and a normal family. Seconds later I realise that they don’t exist. The idea of having a ‘normal’ life is simply from those perfect families on television. Those families that have an issue, work…

A Lot Changes Over 5 Years

I met up with an old friend from school the other day. The last time I had properly spoken to him was just over 5 years ago. Then, suddenly, we bumped into each other and arranged to meet for a drink. It was really nice actually. After moving away and coming back, I have lost…

Moving To Be With Somebody

I live in a very rural area. I’m talking about somewhere which has one bus an hour until 5pm. The nearest town is 18 miles away, but because of the country roads, it takes 20 minutes to get there. I’m not particularly fond of where I live. I lived in a city when I went…

Making Friends & Losing Them

At the moment, I would say that I only have 2 friends. I literally only speak to 2 people other than my family.  Don’t get me wrong, I have had plenty of friends in the past. I’ve always found it quite easy to make friends, especially since I moved around a lot as a child….

The Importance of Manners

So. I was casually washing my car, when 2 kids started shouting out of the window across the street. They were calling me a ‘fat idiot’. Personally, I think they meant ‘voluptuous’ but just couldn’t pronounce it. Anyways, I knocked on the house and told their mum what they were doing. She apologised and I…

Apologies

Apologies can be easy, but they can also be extremely difficult. Firstly, for a meaningful apology you have to accept that you were wrong. For some people this feels like the end of the world. For example, my dad will not do this because he is scared of feeling powerless. Others are just in a…

Being Happy Within Myself.

Something I have learnt over the last few months is that I have always been scared of being alone. I have always had low self esteem, but I never realised the effect it has had on me as a person. I have come to realisation that I am so insecure that I become needy. I…

To Break Up or Not To Break Up?

If you have read any of my previous posts, you will know that me and my partner are in a long-term but now long-distance relationship. We have been going long distance for over a year now. Because of this, I am scared that I have started to lose feelings for him. We have had our…

Dating Somebody with Depression

As you can guess by the title, my partner has depression. I have been dating him for over 3 years and it has never been easy. He was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. During our relationship his depression became so severe that he became addicted to ‘spice’ and became a zombie. He lied to…