I have a theory. My theory goes like this: There is always something going wrong in your life at any one moment.
Whenever I sort out the problems I am having, I think that my life is back on track. Then, something else goes wrong.
Recently, I secured a year of work experience in the career I want to pursue. This will really help me with my future applications to university courses (So I can qualify). I am so happy! All my problems related to fears of not being able to pursue a career, but this has given me so much more confidence. I was scared that I would not be able to get any experience to put on my CV, thus ending up jobless after gaining my qualifications. But, this has given me enormous hope! So, you would think that my life is all going great because I sorted out my issues.
No. Just as I sorted out my work experience, I started to have problems in my relationship. If you regularly read my blog, you will know that I have a long distance relationship with my boyfriend of 3.5 years. Because of my experience, I will be able to apply to the better universities. So, I asked him if he would like to move with me, so we could finally sort out living together (again). One of the best uni options for me is just an hour from where his parents live, and we could live half way in between. This would mean he could keep his job and I could attend uni. His reply ‘I’ll have to think about it’.
I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable or not. We lived together for a year of our degrees, in a house that was over 45 minutes away from his parents. He travelled that distance to his job and that was no problem at all. Now, all of a sudden, it’s a big deal to moved in together in over a years time.
He’s always had commitment issues, but I have slowly pushed our relationship forward. I mean if he could do it before, why is it a big issue now? I know he is financially stable too, so that is not a problem.
I no longer have the energy to keep pushing past his commitment issues. My take on things: I’m going to completely ignore it. If he mentions it later saying ‘I can’t because [insert lame excuse here]’, I’m actually going to walk away. There is no point in being in a relationship if you see no future. And, if after 3.5 years of dating, he is still not ready to live together (despite us doing it previously for a year), I am not prepared to argue with him. If he really wants to be with me, he wouldn’t require a lot of time to think about it.
We have been long distance for about a year. What I am suggesting is another year long distance and then moving in together. I am NOT going to be long distance forever. If he really loves me, then he wouldn’t either. He should be itching for us to be together. Not trying to put it off, especially after a year/two.
I’m really starting to think that I deserve better. He is a great guy when you’re with him, but I don’t think that he is a very good partner. He is very self centred and can be inconsiderate. He has his issues, which I help him with but that would never happen vice versa…
He is kind. He is gentle. But, I think he has a lot of growing up to do. I was hoping that he would have done it by now… I’m losing hope in it being anytime soon.