About 5 or 6 years ago, I met a girl who quickly became my best friend. We instantly clicked. It was such a natural connection. We has many interests in common; we both liked a lot of the same TV shows, movies and books. It felt as though we were separated from birth!
…but people change.
We were inseparable for the 2 years we spent at college. We both wanted to go to university. We even wanted to do the same subject! It isn’t what you’re thinking. We didn’t end up going to different institutions. In fact, we went to the same university and studied the same subject. In the first year, we would always sit together in class and walk in together. We made different friends outside of class. We both would hang out with our housemates and other friends we had made.
But, as we were progressing throughout the year we hung out less and less. She started to sit with other people in class, away from our group. She talked to me less often and began going to her housemates instead to talk about her issues.
In the second year, we never sat with one another. We hung out with completely different groups of people. By this stage, she had really entered the party scene. She would always go on the pull and talk about boys and parties, whilst I studied and worked hard. She started sleeping around, which I had no problem with, but it was all she would talk about. She had changed so much.
Then she dropped out of university. She moved back home. I only saw her 3 times in my final year. Each time she ‘came to visit me’ she would say that she missed university because of the men. She didn’t seem to care about visiting me. She wanted to party.
We went out all 3 times. On 2 of the 3 times, she ditched me and went home with a boy. Left me alone in a club to walk 30 minutes back home worrying about her.
I didn’t see her for a long time after her last visit. Until I thought I’d give her another chance. I would go to hers and give her another chance because of how long we have been friends. That was a mistake.
I visited her and yet again she tried to ditch me. She actually asked me if I didn’t mind if she left to go to a guy’s house and I was welcome to sleep in her bed. SERIOUSLY?! In the morning I asked if she could reverse my car out of her drive as I wasn’t confident doing it. She agreed to. Then, before I was leaving she said ‘Can’t you do it yourself, I got shit to do’. I had driven all the way to see her and she couldn’t even act friendly.
I have not seen her since that moment. I gave her that last chance and she blew it. She is not who she used to be. I know that people change throughout their lives. It’s inevitable. However, she has definitely changed for the worse. She was my best friend and now, I don’t want to hang out with her. She’s rude, inconsiderate, selfish and uncaring.
If somebody repeatedly treats you badly, you need to accept that they are no longer a positive influence in your life. In fact, they are going to upset more each time. Sometimes it takes a long time to accept that, other times it doesn’t. In this case, I have finally come to the stage of acceptance and I no longer consider her to be a friend. Instead I can focus on strengthening my friendships with people who have a positive impact on my life.